During one of our recent lecture weeks we had a ministry night where we talked about something that had been on our minds recently. I brought up the fact that I find it hard to reveive. I find it hard to receive love, gifts, praise, etc. I am a lot better than I used to be, but hey, we’re all growing gradually.
I shocked myself by realising that I couldn’t let go of Christ’s death! I didn’t want Him to die! I hated the thought that He had to die! I wanted to be the one who had to die, not Him. Why should He have to die and not me?
As you may be able to tell by reading this, I was proud. Too proud to receive the best, awesomest gift in history! I had to let it go! I had to let Jesus make the decision, I had to let Him choose to die for me and watch Him die for me. I just had to receive HIs gift of death and life! Until I could accept HIs death there was no way I could accept His resurrection!
I publicly proclaimed that I was sorry for being proud and that I accepted His gift. It will be an interesting time of seeing this come to fruit in my life!
